Thursday, July 15, 2010

My Own G20 'Most Wanted' List

The Toronto Star is reporting that the Toronto Police have released photos of the ten "most wanted" vandals from the G20 demonstrations and riot of two weeks ago. I will at least give the police credit that all of the "suspects" at least appear to have been at the demo. There's no photos of the guy who got shaken down on his way to play medieval role playing games, swinging a foam broadsword. I suppose that's sort of a step forward.
Of course, it doesn't answer a single one of the questions that have been raised by concerned citizens about the suspension of civil liberties. About the horrid conditions and brutal treatment of arrestees, 95% of whom were never charged.
But more than that, if these guys smashed some windows and a couple of, cough cough, abandoned police cruisers, it is nothing compared to the damage of the real vandals at the G20. So, in the interest of balance, RedBedHead is releasing its own "Most Wanted" List. If you know the location of any of these thugs, just pass them along to my desk officer. We'll fill out a report and then get our agents on the case to track them down and arrest them.

WANTED FOR THUGGERY AND VANDALISM

1. STEPHEN HARPER


Don't let the cute kitty-cat fool you, this man is armed and dangerous. He is wanted for holding an entire city hostage, suspending civil liberties, and directing the cops to treat protesters like the enemy within. He's also wanted for funnelling money to the most destructive energy project on earth - the Alberta Tar Sands; for ignoring all democratic checks and balances; attacking women's right to abortion; and championing an economic austerity model that was adopted by the G20 and will lead to immiseration for tens of millions of people around the world. Since he organized the whole stupid thing, he gets to be number one.



2. BARACK OBAMA


He started off so well but just couldn't resist picking up bad habits. We all loved him and wanted him to succeed. The President of the United States has shown himself a willing participant in the murder of tens of thousands by commission and omission. He convinces us he was anti-war and then sent an extra 35,000 troops to Afghanistan. He told us he was for stimulus spending and bank accountability - and now he's moving towards austerity. He said he represented a new, cooperative model of foreign policy and then sent thousands of Marines to Costa Rica as a threat against Nicaragua, backed the Honduran coup, supporter bombings and massacres in Pakistan, gave the thumbs up to every crime that Israel could come up with. He reneged on his promise to rescind the odious Defence of Marriage Act, to support immigrants who face sustained assault by Tea Party, Minutemen and the whackjobs who ran half of the states in America. He reneged on providing real public healthcare and defending a woman's right to choose. The list of crimes continues for quite a while but this is enough for an arrest warrant. He's probably guarded by some heavily armed, sunglasses wearing thugs, so approach with caution.



3. WEN JIABAO


Wen Jiabao, China's Premier, may wear silly hats but this thug is all business back home. He has been involved with repression in Tibet and the Xinjiang region of western China. Then there's all that stuff about stealing organs from prisoners and dissidents. That's worth a few years in the big house right there, serving tea and crumpets to some Falun Gong supporters. Wen rules over a country that prevents freedom of speech and crushes dissent - except where doing so will lead to bigger explosions, as with the recent industrial strike wave.




4. SILVIO BERLUSCONI


His true nature was laid bare a long time ago but he's managed to avoid capture by constantly changing the laws of Italy to maintain parliamentary immunity. It helps that his control and manipulation of the media has made Italy the most unfree media climate in the western world. Besides being an all around SOB, he's also happily supported the war in Afghanistan and repression against trade unions and the left at home. He is in the process of implementing a serious austerity package against Italian workers, which, if he gets away with it, will immiserate millions. He cavorts with open fascists and has created an atmosphere in Italy conducive to the recent pogroms against immigrants and Gypsies. Luckily, it seems that he will soon be thrown out of office and will thus be easier to arrest.



5. NIKOLAS SARKOZY


He looks a bit like Clive Owen here but this guy has no charm at all. Besides his current package of austerity that has generated a massive general strike, he has also attacked immigrants, particularly Muslims at every opportunity. He is for repression, harsh nationalism, and attacks on workers rights and living standards.



6. DAVID CAMERON


The goofball "conservative with a heart of gold" Prime Minister of Britain is what the brits call a toff, which sounds like toffee, but really translates more accurately into rich, inbred bastard. This criminal mastermind is bent on recreating the terror of Thatcher and imposing it on the poor people of Britain. He's a racist, elitist scumbag and his assault on the National Health Service of Britain, as well as the broader public sector is set to be the most significant attack on the welfare state ever seen. Hopefully the people of Britain will give him a swift kick in the pants and his weak coalition government will fall apart. He's best sedated upon arrest or he'll try to charm you and ply you with some of those dreadful British breath mints.



7. TORONTO POLICE CHIEF BILL BLAIR


There's something Pinochet-esque about Billy boy in this photo. Give him the moustache and away he would go. He obviously revels in unbridled power and has a penchant for lying publicly and frequently. As the leader of the biggest street gang in the city of Toronto, he's not to be taken lightly. Don't try to approach him as he's sure to attack.



8. DALTON MCGUINTY


He's a liar. He's boring as shit. Somebody stop him before he passes more police special powers laws that he didn't pass and never really existed in the first place even though he pretended they did until it became politically inconvenient.



9. ROB FORD & GEORGIO MAMMOLITI


He's a bigot, a bully and an asshole who represents every vile, narrow attitude that porcine white assholes can possibly hold without being fascists. And he was number one scum when it came to fellating the TO police over what a wonderful job they did implementing their mini-police state.





Ah, Georgio, how long we have known and despised ye. All the way back to when you scabbed on the NDP same spousal legislation. So it was particularly rich when you put forward a motion to withhold funding from future Pride festivals because they permitted Queers Against Israeli Apartheid to march (under enormous pressure). Having assisted in denying same sex couples any of the rights of heterosexual couples for another decade or so is enough to warrant frog-marching this weasel straight out of city hall and into the hoosegow. But the fact that he fought to get to the front of the line, ahead of his long time arch-foe, Rob Ford, in sucking up to the coppers post-clampdown makes him a double-weasel.



10. MAYOR MILLER


There he is: Curly, Larry and Shemp. I'll leave it to you, trusty reader, to decide whom is whom. If we have to endure one more "progressive" mayor like Miller I'm gonna cack. I thought Barb Hall was bad enough - Christ, she was beaten by Mel Lastman! But this guy is worse. Sure, we were all excited when he deposed Mel "Noooobody" Lastman with his three dollar suits and world knowledge gleaned from reading the Sunday funnies. But by the time we got to Miller's second term it would be an understatement to say that the thrill was gone. He went after public sector unions last summer, forcing a strike and then demonizing them as he sought significant concessions - as though public sector workers are to blame for the sorry state of city finances (here's a hint: cut the police budget). Then he went out of his way after the G20 fiasco to congratulate the police on what a good job they did - before knowing the facts of the matter. He did later apologize for the martial law situation - sorta, kinda - at a community event in North York, out of the eye of the media but the damage was already done. Of course, he has done no worse than the other progressives on council who all voted to withhold funding for Pride unless they censored the political views of participants viz Israel and who all voted to applaud the cops for smashing heads and suspending our rights. Nice goin' Milly Vanilly. Get outta here, you punk. Do no pass GO, do not collect $200!



Well, that's it. It's a bit of an arbitrary list, of course. There were so many scumbags assembled in one city that, frankly, it's a surprise that the World Health Organization didn't send in a team to disinfect ole Hogtown. I never even mentioned Germany, for instance. Or Russia - whoa, he's a dirtbag though, ain't he? But I think that if we can nail these guys, make an example of them with some show trials, convict them in the media - hey, we could get Christie Blatchford to cover it - then it will discourage copycat scumbags from following in their path. Two-thirds of the law is about deterrence. Remember that, kiddies. Now get out there and hunt these bad boys down like the dogs they are.
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