Brits Whack Bankers As Study Proves They're Parasites

WHAT COULD BE MORE FUN THAN SMACKING A GREEDY BANKER with a mallet and not only getting away with it but having the chance to win a teddy bear for your kids? It seems that the idea is very popular in Britain where an arcade owner who has put in a game of "Whack A Banker" has had to replace the mallets several times over.
It's no wonder that the game is popular. There has been a simmering dispute, for instance, between the board of directors of the Royal Bank of Scotland and the government over bonuses. The board is demanding the "right" to pay out £1.5 billion in bonuses at the bank, even though there business sense is so utterly crap that the government has had to pump billions upon billions of pounds into the bank to keep it afloat. The government is set to own up 84% by the time all the pieces fall. And while millionaire bankers want to use public funds to pay themselves bonuses - for what great feat, I'm not sure - the average salary in the UK is £20,000. The board of directors is threatening to resign if they don't get their loot.
And, just to confirm the public's belief that bankers are greedy parasites, a study by the New Economic Foundation in Britain has found that for every £1 they are paid, bankers destroy £7 worth of value. This contrasts with childcare workers, for instance who create £7 worth of value for every £1 they are paid. So much for the rich being rich because of their contribution to society. As I suspected all along, it is the poorest who contribute the most with socially useful work, while the rich are a big drag. As the study notes:

It said the report challenged the notion that high pay did not matter as long as poverty was eradicated. It argues that high pay is often generated by businesses that destroy other parts of the economy or fail to pay the full costs of their activities.
The report said tax accountants were the most destructive, laying waste to £47 of value for every £1 they created. Elite City bankers (earning £1m plus bonuses) destroy £7 of value for every £1 they create and advertising executives wreck £11 of value for every £1 they are paid.
On the other hand, the report judged that waste-recycling workers generated £12 for every £1 spent on their wages. Childcare workers create between £7 and £9.50 of value for every £1 of pay and hospital cleaners create more than £10 in value for every £1 they receive in pay.

So, go on and give those rich a whack, I say. You're providing a social service to the rest of us.

Bailout Cash Used To Pay Banker Bonuses

Found this little item on Clutterstock. Apparently the fat cat bankers at Bank of America, who were bleating that they needed an extra $20 billion - that's $20,000,000,000 - to help cover the costs of their takeover of Merrill Lynch, gave it to themselves as bonuses.

I've decided that the bankers really do show the way, so I've decided to put in a bid on a bank - something small, maybe a credit union. I don't want to be greedy. Then once I own that I'll ask the government to give me the money to cover the cost of my purchase - sure I'll even offer the government some dividend paying shares (in case my bank ever makes a profit that I can't hide). Luckily, the government of Canada, like that in the US, is a strong believer in the free market, so they won't want any voting shares to determine how I actually spend the money. Then I'll take the money meant to cover my purchases and I'll pay myself a big fat bonus for being so clever. Say, $50 million. 

And the great thing about this plan is that you can keep going back for more - this is the second installment that Bank of America received. It's like it says on the back of your shampoo bottle: lather, rinse, repeat. Anybody else in?