DEAR PM STEPHEN HARPER
I know that things haven't been going so good for you lately - what with all that communist hub-bub about so-called "global warming" and liberal whiners whining about the torture of our detainees in Afghanistan. Sheesh, haven't these people heard: there's a war on, moron. We have no right to second guess what our troops are doing over there - especially when you ordered them to do it and you were elected by, well, a lot of people voted for you anyway. So, who are these jerks to question you?
Anyway, since Christmas is coming and the year ended on such a poopy note for you, I just wanted to send you a season's greeting and tell you that your supporters are with you. We will follow you to the end of the earth and back. After all, yours is the first principled Canadian government in living memory and that's something worth celebrating. You have made it clear that in war there will be casualties, whether that is in Afghanistan or in Palestine. And anybody who criticizes the policies of your government or that of Israel's are traitors to democracy and must be silenced. So, bravo for taking away the $7 million in development funding that was going to KAIROS. They may not have said or did the things that Jason Kenney said that they did but they might have. And letting them off the hook for doing it will only encourage others to do the same thing. Next thing you know, they'll be teaching their garbage in our schools - all that nonsense about human rights as though our values of freedom, democracy and open markets should be sacrificed just because some TALIBAN or their Palestinian kin are riled up. Well, if you don't want your fingernails pulled out, your country bombed and foreign troops telling you what to do, you'll do what we tell you next time. Or maybe you should just leave, if you're in Palestine. After all, God promised the whole land of Israel to the Jews, like five thousand years ago, who are you "johnny-come-latelies" to question the ancient word of the Lord? If you hadn't converted to Islam in the 8th century, well, real Semites from Europe wouldn't be kicking you out - at least not for religious reasons.
Speaking of Jason Kenney, you may know that I gave some money to George Galloway's case against him for barring Galloway from entering the country earlier this year. I want you to know that I only did it because I think once the Canadian public hears how Galloway gave food and clothing and ambulances to those terrorists who live in the Gaza Strip, they'll understand why Kenney did what he did. And it will ensure that Canadians understand why we must stop "humanitarian" (ie. communist-islamist) aid for people we don't like in the future. The sooner everyone is like us, the sooner this world will be a better place. Wasn't that, after all, the message of Christ: do unto others as you would have them do unto you. It's right there in black and white - make other do as you say.
All the best this Xmas season and best of luck in the New Year, which will definitely start off much better if you prorogue Parliament till 2011 to shut up the "useful idiots" and Taliban sympathizers in the yapping Opposition and focus on what you do best: governing this great nation with decisive and firm leadership.